堵不如疏——赛斯谈如何处理你的愤怒

《灵魂永生》附录ESP课（中）

（1971年1月12日星期二）

（Bert C.提出了如何与自己和他人建立关系的问题。）

除非你能诚实地面对自己，并且能有意识地觉察自己，否则你无法诚实地与别人建立关系；因为你会把自己的恐惧和偏见投射在别人身上。你无力帮助他人，因为你自己的内心有太多不安全感。你形成了你所知的物质实相，无论是个人的还是群体的实相。要改变你的世界，必须改变你的思想。每时每刻，你都必须有意识地觉察到你对自己说的是实话，因为那就是你投射出去的实相。

（Bert C.：听起来光是完成前半部分“面对和觉察自己”就是一辈子的课题了，更何况是下一步与别人的关系。）

的确是。但别忘了心电感应的存在。你大部分的所思所感，别人都有所知觉。

（Bert C.：你是说，不管我有意识地投射出去什么，别人都能知道我的真实感觉吗？）

真实感觉并不一定隐含暴力或攻击性的感觉。它们也包含了埋藏在你恐惧之下的爱与接受的感觉，以及那些你不敢在物质实相中表达的感觉。

（Bert C.：我想我懂了，也就是说我所有这些不同层面的意识都在和人交流——不仅是有意识的，还有心电感应的。）

的确如此。当你向外投射你的心念时，你常常假装那不是你的想法而是别人的想法。因此你理应了解你的想法和感受是什么，而不要被它们吓到。 

（Jim H.说他发现有个人在工作时睡着了，并解释了他对这件事的想法和感受，也想知道他怎么才能改变这些想法。）

你的确可以改变你的想法，但不要否定你想拧断别人脖子的那个部分。你被自己的想法吓坏了，所以立马把这个念头压了下去。让我们来想想看，你被自己那个“恶比善更有力量”的想法吓到了，你害怕“一个不由自主的暴力念头比善念的力量更重要、更强大”。至少你还对这种想法是有所觉察的。现在，假设以下情形发生了，也就是用你们的话说，你“进步”到不再觉察自己有这种感觉的地步——

(Jim H. :“对那个家伙你根本就没法自动提起‘善念’，也不可能强压负面思想却对此没有感觉。 ”）

那是当然啦，所以你的肌肉紧张起来，肾上腺素分泌也增加了。你心里真想勒死他，但你却说：“愿上帝保佑你，我们的好小伙儿，愿你长寿幸福。”

我们的好小伙通过心电感应完全清楚你的感受，可你却与自己的感觉分了家。你认为这才是精神修养的进步，但你所做的只是想象自己希望他好好的。而你的肌肉却因为你不承认自己真正的感受而紧张收缩。

假设三周后我们再次邂逅，我们那可怜无知的工人又在工作时睡着了。我们的好牧师恰好经过，他看见那懒鬼躺在地板上打盹儿，心想：“真想踢你一脚让你知道自己在哪儿。”但转念又想：“哦，不，我不能有这种违反基督徒精神的想法。暴力是错的。”因此甚至在他还没来得及接受自己的真实感受，就隐藏了任何对攻击性的承认。于是，他弯下腰说：“我的好兄弟，祝你健康长寿。上帝祝福你的人生。”他沾沾自喜地想：“我一天比一天更有灵性了。”

这时，他的肌肉收缩了十倍，因为它们无法投入行动，原因是引起肌肉紧张的那个念头遭到了否定。我们可怜的工人再次在潜意识中觉察到这个企图，但也只到某个程度而已。

三个月之后，你刚好有一天诸事不顺。在你对什么事都看不顺眼的当口，又发现我们的老朋友在地上酣睡，说不定这次还正好在你想要他完成一项重要工作的时候。（幽默地：）我绝没有指责的意思，即使只是幻想，但你这次真的气极了。可你却再一次为了你的灵性——伪灵性——而否定了自己真实的感受，然后你再次说道：“上帝保佑你，愿平安与你同在。”

这次，那心灵的安全活塞受不了了。此时最理想的行动是你勃然大怒真去踢他一脚，最坏的则是你又一次抑制了对这种攻击性的承认，这种攻击性纯粹是自然的，它们郁结已久即将爆发。这时候你发射出了一股强大的、与前面所发生过的任何事件都不成比例的“心念形相”。这一“心念形相”会给你的朋友造成严重伤害；所有这些都只是因为你被区区一个偶然的攻击性想法所吓倒，以为这种恶念比你们每个人之内的生命力还要强大。

（Jim H.：“那么你认为是不是该在一开始，我们还没有形成挫败感及情绪负荷前，便对他说：‘喂，快醒醒，你这么做不对。虽然我自己可能也做过这种事，但这真的叫我不舒服。我们还是起来做事吧。’在那种程度的时候，对他说实话是不是就能避免这种情绪负荷呢？”）

是的。不过，最重要的事是承认这种感受是正当的，有它自己的存在领域，承认它是你自己的一部分，然后选择一种处置方式。你不能把别人当作出气筒；生气只是一种沟通方法。

（Jim H.：“我并不想把怒气发泄到我俩任何一个人身上。一来，我不想踢他，二来，我也不想以某种方式伤害自己。）

最开始你并没有气到想要踢他。虽然那个念头是存在的，但就算你完全承认了它的存在，它也没强烈到会带来身体反应的地步。你明白吗？

（Jim H.：“懂是懂，但是我希望能学一学如何处理这类感受，而不去试图压制它。”）

首先你应该在自我的层面上承认这种感受的存在，承认它是你自己的一部分。每当你把你的感受对自己关闭掉的时候，用你们的话来说就是——你的活力就减少了。因此，不管用什么方式，你都得尽量用言语去传达这种感受，利用愤怒作为一种沟通的方法，它往往会导向你意想不到的结果，而且是有利的结果。

你应该知道我在分析问题时一向都一视同仁，所以请不要生气。我也不希望你们任何一个人把我的话当成包扎心灵创伤的肤浅绷带……所以你并不是像我刚才说的这么“坏”。你也许存在我所指出的那种倾向，但这房间里的其他人也一样，包括鲁柏在内。

（Jim H.：“在这种情况下，如何定义‘坏’呢？”）

我不对“坏”下定义。我使用这个字眼是根据你们自己的定义。你们认为：“好”是温和的，而“坏”就是暴力。这是因为在你们心中暴力与破坏是同一回事。以此类推：柔和的声音是神圣的，震耳的声音就是邪恶的；强烈的欲望是坏欲望，淡淡的欲望就是好欲望。因而，你不敢把想法或欲望投射出去，因为在你内心深处认为有威力的东西都不是好东西。

但我必须告诉你这个宇宙是一个“善”的宇宙，它知道它自己的生命力，而这生命力也存在于你之内，你可以放心大胆地鼓励它。你的本性也是一个“善”的本性，你可以尽管放心地信任它。因为困难不易之事与“好”事并不是同义词。 

ESP CLASS SESSION:

TUESDAY, JANUARY 12,1971

（Bert C. spoke of relating to oneself and to others.）

Until you are honest with yourself and become consciously aware of yourself, you cannot honestly relate with others; you will project upon them your own fears and prejudices. You cannot afford to help them because you have too many insecurities within yourself. Now, you form the physical reality that you know, individually and en masse. To change your world you must change your thoughts. You must become consciously aware of what you tell yourself is true every moment of the day, for that is the reality that you project outward.

（Bert C.: “It sounds like a life-long task just to work out the first half of that, before you can begin to relate to others. ”）

It is, indeed. However, telepathy does exist. Others are aware, then, to a large extent of what you are thinking and feeling.

（Bert C.: “My true feelings, despite what I might project consciously? ”）

The true feelings do not necessarily imply the violent or aggressive feelings. They also imply the feelings of love and acceptance that are buried beneath your own fears, and those you are terrified of expressing in physical reality.

（Bert C.:“I think I understand then, that all of these different levels of my consciousness are being communicated —not only by me consciously, but also telepathically. ”）

That is true. When you project your ideas outward, you often behave as if they were not yours but belonged to another. Therefore it behooves you to understand you're yourideas and feelings are, and not to be frightened of them.

（Jim H. told of finding a man asleep at his work. Jim explained his ideas and emotions concerning the incident,and wanted to know how he could change them.）

You can indeed change them, but do not deny the part of you that wanted to wring the other man’s neck. You were so frightened of the thought that you immediately inhibited it. Let us consider. You are terrified of the idea that evil is more powerful than good, that one stray violent thought of yours was more important and powerful than the vitality of good. At least you were aware of the thought. Now say the following happened, that in your terms you progressed to the point where you were no longer aware of the feeling —

（Jim H.: “You don’t just automatically think good things about this fellow, and repress the negative thoughts without becoming aware of what you felt. ”）

Of course, so your muscles tensed, your adrenalin production increased. You wanted to wring his neck but you said, “God bless you, my fine young fellow. May you live a long and merry life.”

Telepathically, our fine young fellow knew exactly what you were feeling. You were out of contact with your feelings. At this point of your spiritual progression, you only imagined that you wished him good. The muscles were already contracted in your body because you did not admit your true feelings.

Now three weeks later we have another encounter. Our poor ignorant workman again falls asleep at his chores. Our good minister comes by. He sees the idle one upon the floor snoozing, and he thinks, “I would like to kick you in the you-know-where.” But then. “Oh no, I cannot think such an unchristian thought. Violence is wrong.” So before he even admits to himself what he feels, hiding any acknowledgement of aggression, he bends down and says. “My good man, may you live long and heartily. God bless your life.” He pats himself upon the back and thinks, “I am growing more spiritual day by day.”

In the meantime, his muscles have contracted ten times because they could not be put into activity, as the thought behind them was denied. Our poor man is again subconsciously aware of the intent, but only to some degree.

Three months later you have had a really bad day. You are mad at life in general, and now you find our friend upon the floor again; this time, perhaps, he is asleep at a somewhat more important chore that you wanted done. （Humorously）: Now far be it from me to accuse you of such an act, even in a fantasy, but this time you are out of your mind. Again, it behooves you to deny your true feelings in order to be spiritual — which is not true spirituality — and you say again, “God bless you, may you go in peace.”

This time the psychic safety valve has had too much. The nicest thing that could happen would be that you suddenly blew your stack and kicked him. The worst thing that could happen would be that once again you restrain the acknowledgement of the pent up, perfectly natural aggression that is now ready to explode —so you send out a thought-form out of all proportion to any of the events that have transpired. The thought-form causes your friend severe harm; and all of this because you were afraid that one stray aggressive thought of yours was more powerful than the vitality that resides in each of you.

（Jim H.: "In the beginning, before we compounded the frustration and the emotional charges, would you have recommended an action like saying, ‘Come on, this is wrong. I’ve probably done this sort of thing myself, but it really bugs me. We have to get up and get to work here. ’ Would being honest with him at that level have prevented these charges? ”）

Yes. The most important thing, however, is to acknowledge the feeling as legitimate, with its own realm of existence, to admit it as a part of yourself. Then choose how you want to deal with it. You do not make others the brunt of your anger; anger is merely a method of communication.

（Jim H.: "I don’t want to direct the brunt of my anger at either of us. One, I don't want to kick him. Two, I don’t want to hurt myself in some way. ”）

Originally you were not angry enough to kick him. The thought existed, but it wasn’t strong enough to bring about the physical reaction even if you had fully admitted it. Do you follow me?

（Jim H.: “Yes. I want to learn how to handle such feelings, without trying to repress them. ”）

You should first of all admit that the feelings exist as a part of yourself, at the ego level. Whenever you close your feelings off from yourself you are, in your terms, less alive. Then, as far as is possible, communicate those feelings verbally in whatever way you choose. Use anger as a method of communication. Often it will lead to results that you do not think of, and beneficial ones.

You certainly understand that I am doing with your case the same thing that I have done with others, so please do not be offended. I do not want any of you, you see, to use these ideas as superficial bandages for your bleeding psyches.... So you are not as bad as I pegged you. You might be inclined in the direction I have indicated, but then so is everyone else in the room, including Ruburt.

（Jim H.: “Now would you define bad in that context? ’’）

I do not define bad. When I use the term it is according to your own definition. You have an idea that good is gentle and bad is violent. This is because in your mind violence and destruction are the same thing. By this analogy, you see, the soft voice is the holy voice and the loud voice is the wicked one, and a strong desire is the bad desire and a weak desire the good one. You become afraid of projecting ideas or desires outward, for in the back of your mind you think that what is powerful is evil.

Instead, I am telling you that the universe is a good' universe. It knows its own vitality, and that vitality is within you. You can encourage it freely. Your own nature is a good nature and you can trust it. Because something is difficult does not mean it is good.

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