你真的想听吗？！——赛斯给一位听力损伤者的建议（上）

赛斯：别抖了！

（玛丽：“好的。”）

赛斯：你听得到我吗？

（玛丽：“听得到。”）

赛斯：那么，听好了。我要先恭维你一下。那是为了让你自在一点。你很热心。你试着去帮助别人。你是好意，而且你有很多能力。你也拥有所有你需要的能量，只要你学会如何去释放。好，给我们一点时间，然后注意听。

你的那些问题，我不会按照你怎么问我就怎么答。首先，让我们来处理一些原因。

当你搬到这里（搬到附近的农场）时，你的期望太多了。你期待很多事：一个全新的开始，生活中某些情况的逆转，你和丈夫的新关系。你提前把状况过度理想化了。你以为会有二度蜜月。你还以为会享受丈夫整天在身边。由于之前的冲突——那是可以解决的，你其实不像你想的那样喜欢他整天待在家里。此外，谁才是“当家作主”的那个人，这也造成了冲突，你怨恨他的“接管”，或者在你看来似乎是如此。你习惯自己一个人打理家务。你以为你会很欢迎他的合作与协助，而且，因为在过去，在这一生，你和他的其他冲突，你反而讨厌他的帮忙。你想要像过去那样当家，你想要这个家完全属于你自己。

好，你的人格有两个强烈的面向。一个和你为什么从军有关系：你有一种对秩序的渴望；一种对刺激的渴望，但刺激要在条理分明的规范之内。同样，在这方面，你的人格也有一个组织的面向，可是现在没有被用在有利的方向上，因此可能会有负面的后果。你喜欢组织人和事。正因为如此，在你们两个搬家之后，你发觉你丈夫的存在让人心烦。你懂我的意思吗？

（玛丽：“哦，懂。我原本以为他待在家里，会有更多时间务农，我们也可以找到解决之道，但是当他晚上得出去工作，而我可以自己看书自修的时候，我真的松了一大口气。）

赛斯：好，你们才搬家没多久，你就失望了，然后你开始退缩。不论你在意识上有没有觉察到这一点，在你早年的生活中，每当你变得极度紧张、不安，或遇到大麻烦时，你就会开始“关掉”刺激。你也会听不到。当你想要从这个世界上撤退的时候，你就关掉你的听觉，以免心烦。这个习惯一直都在，而随着状况的持续，你也抓着它不放。现在因为你和丈夫在这一生曾经有过某些状况和冲突，所以你不想听他说什么。你已经听不下去了，因此，特别是和他在一起的时候，你开始有听力的问题。

我要告诉你，关于你的生活我都知道些什么，然后我会告诉你，你必须做什么来加以改变。你已经开始安排丧失听力的生活，你已经开始让它成为一个个人特征，你已经开始强迫别人在这方面同情你。现在，你这么做显然是因为你开始从中得到某些好处，而你一定要找出是什么样的好处，我会协助你。

首先，你需要有目的地发展一些能力。你自己善于组织的部分要你去管理你自己，而到目前为止，你还没有做到。

当你今晚走进这里的时候，你说了一番话，说你中午没有打扮。现在我第一个最实在的建议就是：你应该早点起床，然后立刻穿上衣服，要“穿衣打扮”。我不是说穿睡袍。这会立刻提升你的自我形象，让你准备好迎接新的一天。这是一种心理上的“设定”。

现在，就你的恐惧而言，在你处于抑郁状态时，你觉得没有以一种“负责任”的方式使用你的能力。所以你觉得无法“表扬自己”。你觉得自己在某种程度上像个伪君子，因为在新泽西州，我相信，至少在你搬到这里之前，你谈过你的写作，但你并没有用一种有组织的方式去写。你没有管控它。

在抑郁期间，你觉得你的人生，主要的节点，都已经过去了，你再也追不回。所有这些恐惧凑在一起，造成了现在的问题。好，没有任何人可以替你改变你的人生。但是你可以改变它。你的希望与救赎就在于此，所以你必须开始这样做。你现在正围绕你的听力障碍来安排你的生活。再说一次，基本上你正在强迫别人在那方面同情你。你经常提到它，把它带入谈话。现在我说的是“经常”，若非如此，它就不会被注意到，因为你还夸大了听力损失的程度。我不是说没有损失，我是说你在夸大损失。

有几件事我会要求你去做。第一，不管怎样，你一定要开始热爱声音。你一定不可以老是想着：“我听不到。”“有什么好听的？”“他们在说什么？”“今天我的听力有多差了？”你一定要反过来，在感官上享受那些来到你身边的声音，甚至在你独处的时候，去想象声音。这将会自动设定你的内我去期待声音的出现。你每天至少要花一个小时，不去想听力丧失的事，而要如何做到这一点，我也会给你一些提示。

但是你一定要让自己放松一些，不要一直专注在负面想法上。

（玛丽：“这不是指睡觉的时间吧？”）

赛斯：不是。

（玛丽：“那么你……那么我想你不会建议我动手术吧？”）

赛斯：我还没有说到那部分。

（玛丽：“对不起。”）

赛斯：不过，我会让你休息一下。

（玛丽：谢谢你。”）

——摘译自赛斯《私人课》第二册

（未完待续）

编译 |

校对 |

DELETED SESSION (FOR MARY SMITH)

MAY 3, 1972

Stop shaking!

([Mary:] “Okay.”)

Can you hear me?

([Mary:] “Yes.)

Then listen well. I will start out with a compliment. That is to set you at ease. You are warm-hearted. You try to help other people. You mean well, and you have many abilities. You also have all the energy that you need, when you learn how to release it. Now, give us a moment, and listen.

I will not answer your questions in the way that you asked them. First of all, let us deal with some causes.

You expected too much when you moved here. You expected many things —a complete renewal, a reversal of certain circumstances in your life—a new relationship with your husband. You overidealized the situation ahead of time. You thought there was going to be a second honeymoon. You also thought that you would enjoy having your husband around all of the time. Because of previous conflicts, that can be resolved, you did not enjoy having him around all of the time as you supposed that you did. There were also conflicts of direction, as to who would “rule the roost”, and you resented his “taking over”, or what it seemed to you to be. You were used to managing the home alone. You thought that you would welcome his cooperation and aid, and because, now, of other conflicts with him, in the past, in this life, instead, you resented his help. You wanted to rule as you had in the past. You wanted the home to yourself.

Now. There are two strong aspects in your personality. One having to do with the reason why you entered the service; a desire for order; a desire for excitement, but excitement within an ordered sequence. There is also, in this same respect, an organizational aspect to your personality that is not now being used to advantage, and therefore can have negative consequences. You like to organize things and people. It is in this regard that you found the presence of your husband distracting when the two of you moved. Do you follow me?

([Mary:] “Yeah. I thought that he would be home and we could...uh... he’d have more time to farm, and we could work something out, but I was really relieved when he went to, had to go to work at night and I could read and study by myself.）

Now. You were disappointed, then, shortly after you made your move, and you began to retreat. Whether or not you are consciously aware of this, in your earlier life, when you became extremely nervous or upset or had a bad problem, you began to “shut down” stimuli. You did not hear as well. When you wanted to retreat from the world, you shut down on your hearing so that you were not distracted. The habit simply persisted, and you grasped upon it as the situation continued. Now. Because of some circumstances and conflicts with your husband in this life in the past, you did not want to hear what he had to say. You were finished listening to him, and therefore with him, particularly, you began to have trouble hearing.

I want to tell you what I know about your days, and then I will tell you what you must do to change them, You are beginning to organize your life about your lack of hearing. You are beginning to make it a characteristic. You are beginning to force other people to relate to you in that regard. Now you are obviously doing this because you are getting something out of it, and you must discover what that something is and I will help you.

You need, first of all, to develop some of your abilities in a purposeful manner. The organizational part of yourself wants you to organize yourself, and so far you have not done this.

You made a remark when you came in here this evening about not being dressed at noon. Now my first piece of homely advice is you should get up at a decent time and immediately dress, and “dress.” I do not mean a robe. This immediately lifts your own self-image, and prepares you for the day. It is a mental “set.”

Now. As far as your fears are concerned, in your periods of depression, you feel that you have not used your abilities in a “responsible” way. You feel that therefore, you cannot “pat yourself on the back.” You feel to some extent like a hypocrite because in, I believe, New Jersey, at least before you moved here, you spoke of your writing but you did not work with it in an organized fashion. You did not direct it.

In periods of depression you feel that your life, the main points, have passed, and that you have lost time—important time that you feel you cannot recover. All of these fears work together to cause the present difficulty. Now. There is no one who can change your life for you. But you can change it. And in that lies your hope and your salvation. And so you must begin to do so. You are now organizing your life about your hearing defect. In the main, you are forcing others again to relate to you in that regard. You mention it often. You bring it into the conversation. When I tell you now, “often,” it would not otherwise be noticed, for you also exaggerate the extent of the hearing loss. I did not say there was not a loss. I am saying you are exaggerating the loss that there is.

There are several things that I will ask you to do. First, however, you must begin to love sound. You must not concentrate thinking: “I cannot hear.” “What is there to hear?” “What are they saying?” “How bad is my hearing today?” You must instead sensually enjoy those sounds that come to you, and even imagine sounds when you are alone. Now this will automatically set your inner self toward the anticipation of further sound. You must take at least an hour a day during which you do not think of loss of hearing, and I will give you some hints as to how to do this.

But you must give yourself some relaxation from the constant concentration upon negative aspects.

([Mary:] “This doesn’t mean a sleeping time?”)

It does not.

([Mary:] “Then you...then I take it you would not suggest an operation?)

I have not gotten to that part yet.

([Mary:] “Sorry.”)

I will let you take a break, however.

([Mary:] “Thank you.”

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