DELETED SESSION AUGUST 14, 1978

DELETED SESSION

AUGUST 14, 1978  9:47 PM MONDAY

(I had several questions for Seth, which had grown out of the talk Jane and I had after breakfast. I could see through the day that they’d depressed her, however, so at session time when she mentioned them, I suggested we forget them. They’re noted here, although I think that at least a good portion of tonight’s material stemmed from remarks I made after supper, when I talked about not using my own abilities as much as I might have over the years.

(1. Why did Jane have to start using the typing table as an aid in walking, approximately a year ago from last June, when before that she could get around without it? 2. Why did Jane have to start using the chair on wheels to get around the house, starting last May? To us this was a regression from using the table, let alone from walking without any aid. 3. What part have all the delays involving Volume 2 of “Uknown” Reality played in all of this?)

Now, for openers: you are in your individual ways perfectionists. You judge yourselves too harshly. You think of yourselves as “you should be,” and so you are not satisfied with the people that you are.

You judge the world harshly also. You do not thoroughly appreciate emotionally your part in the production of our material, or realize that its direction and so forth must be, and is, colored by your own unique characteristics as well as Ruburt’s—and that at certain levels, the Seth material, as it exists, is a product of your lives together. Not as easily understood a product, perhaps, as a series of excellent paintings, not as easily categorized—and yet you are helping to paint a giant-sized picture of the psyche as it translates inner reality into the living fabric of the world.

Perhaps that does not seem to be what you had in mind as an artist. Perhaps it does not seem to be what you intended. You could have done conventionally well, with portraits, and with other kinds of paintings, with your technical knowledge, but as you learned more you kept trying to put more into your paintings, ever demanding more of yourself and of the art, and forcing upon yourself a kind of growth and development that in a way became larger than the art itself—so that the art, you felt, could never be adequate as an expression of the inner realities of which you became more and more certain.

Art was art, but it was also on your part a search for truth through the medium of painting. Whenever you feel that you have not used your abilities fully, you are doing two things: you are disapproving of yourself as you are, taking it for granted that you have gone astray in an important fashion, and you are also projecting that disapproval and “error” into the future.

Some of your paintings will be very well-known. Do not fall for the trashy concepts concerning age—particularly in relationship to art, for there there is far less correlation than there might seem to be, for example, in conventional terms in other areas of life.

Many of the most important art works have been done late in life, as you should know, and blossoming of the psyche cannot be given any age limit. You did not want buyers around, and you did not want the marketplace, and you wanted to progress at your own sweet rate—as you are. You did not want to settle for work of which others might approve, and get stuck at a certain level, even for money’s sake; but you wanted to pursue your art in private, and you wanted it colored by its own vaster canvas of psychic endeavor.

Last week Ruburt did fairly well. He actually concentrated upon Seven, typed it creatively, walked several times a day, began to help with meals and with the house, and comparatively speaking you both had a fairly good week. Then, once again, you both began to concentrate upon the problem. Ruburt’s legs activated themselves in rather strenuous fashion in bed. You both became frightened, and there is no need to blame yourselves.

Your whole civilization is immersed with the idea that the way to solve a problem–any problem, private or worldwide–is to exaggerate it, see its worst projection; and this, then, is supposed to make you take proper action. The approach unfortunately solves no problems, and only compounds them, whether the nation is trying to solve problems of energy, or social problems, or whether an individual is trying to overcome a dilemma.

You are so immersed in that method of problem solving, however, that it comes back to haunt you. At least you can be aware of it and alert. I will give you the answers to your questions, but they are not the way to solve your problem—and against all conventional knowledge, reviewing the mistakes of the past does not lead to wisdom.

When you become so worried, of course, you concentrate even further on the problem—how bad it is, and what will happen if it becomes worse in the future. The problem is, therefore, compounded to whatever degree—and when I give you both such reasons, then sometimes you use them, the two of you, to add to your private and joint self-disapproval.

The reasons for the table of course have to do with your ideas of the world, and with your perfectionism.

Now understand that I am using the term “perfectionism” in a comparative fashion—but you disapprove of defects of any kind, the both of you. (Pause.) Do you want this material?

(I nodded yes.)

I gave you portions of it in the past. At Ruburt’s last visit to your dentist, both of you decided that his position was embarrassing, that it put you both in a bad light, that his condition spoke of invisible defects. Ruburt was frightened of going, had a very difficult time with the stairs, but made them. You said something like “It looks like you’ve had it, hon.” He could have said, “Had it, shit,” but he did not. You were embarrassed in the street. He was in people’s way. You were impatient.

He was hurt and angry, but instead of thinking “I will walk all right, and be impatient with you sometime.” he decided he would not be humiliated again, for he could no longer “pass” as normal.

You are compassionate toward others, and judge yourselves harshly. Ruburt felt he could not go out again until he could do so without embarrassing himself or you, and until he walked normally. If he walked all-right-enough in the house, however, then the time would come for another dentist visit or whatever. And he would have to go—so he would not walk that well in the house either—hence the table.

The fact is, neither of you wanted to appear on the street. You did not particularly want to be seen with Ruburt in his condition. You felt too sorry for him, and yet angry and embarrassed, and all of that was caused by concentrating upon the problem, projecting it in the future, in the definite belief, for all I have said, that that method of problem-solving works.

The belief is that if you frighten yourself badly enough through imagined projections and imagination, you will be frightened enough to change—but the nation or the individual following that method does not change for the better, but compounds the original condition, concentrates upon it until it looms larger than before. Such methods cause panic, national or individual.

You both thought Ruburt should hide in the house. You were too proud to show your defects, because in your eyes such defects are so horrendous, and Ruburt’s condition becomes the symbol for all of man’s physical distress, in your eyes.

The situation frightened him of course further, and you, so for the winter he largely sat in one chair in one room. This chair, being used to get from room to room, was at that point creative, and it got him involved in the household again, and greatly added to the exercise given the legs over the entire day, for sometimes he walked to the bathroom three times in the winter, but for the rest of the day his motion was most limited.

He does need to put his full weight on his feet more, though last week was a good compromise for now—but overall the body has been more exercised. You must both be on guard against comparing his walking with normal walking.

Normal walking can gently be considered the goal. The legs are lengthening; the knees are loosening, and the feet. The discomforts, however, are the results of doubts, of fears, so that extra muscular tension for example is applied in any given case.

The leg and thigh discomforts in bed are definitely the result of concentrated periods of muscular exercise. The body wants to get up and move—either that, or a brief massage–but mainly the realization of the body’s positive activity will help bring the discomfort to a halt.

Have Ruburt use last week as a basic model of operation, while adding to it. You can help when you are feeling confident enough, by reminding Ruburt when you see that he is bothered, that his body is healing itself. All of this, in which left alone it seems natural that the body will always take the worst rather than the better course, and that any problems are to be solved by stressing them.

The best way to protect yourselves from an enemy, for example, is to exaggerate your enemy’s power and evil qualities, and this is somehow supposed to bring about peace. The way to solve a health problem, whether private or national, is to emphasize its existence, exaggerate its characteristics, and project into the future, and this is supposed to bring health.

Against all that conventional wisdom, what I have said sounds extremely simple, simplistic, Pollyannaish, until you try to do it. To solve a problem you begin to minimize its characteristics, diminish its importance, rob it of your attention, refuse it your energy. The method is the opposite, of course, of what you are taught. That is why it seems to be so impractical.

I have said this so many times —and I do realize it is difficult for you—but you cannot concentrate upon two things at once. So to the extent that you concentrate upon your pleasures, your accomplishments, and to the extent that you relate to the psychic and biological moment, you are refreshing yourselves. You are not projecting negatively, and you are allowing the problem to unwrinkle, unknot. You are denying it the energy of your attention that keeps it going. You do not spend time thinking that you have not used your abilities properly. You take it for granted that you are using them properly, and that allows them to fully develop.

You do not spend time worrying about what is going to happen to Ruburt’s condition—meaning, how much worse he might get, either of you. Ruburt appreciates the motion that he has, and starts from there, and that motion will be increased. He concentrates upon what he can do, and enjoys it—and that will bring about beneficial projections.

I bid you a fond good evening.

（“Okay.”）

赛斯书预言，赛斯说，缘起，实相赛斯书合集