何苦总在苹果里找虫子？ |《健康之道》连载（30）

摘译自《健康之道》1984年4月10日

当然，担心、恐惧和怀疑都对健康有害，而这些往往由社会公认的信念所引起。那些信念描绘了一幅可怕的画面，在其中，任何情况都注定会恶化。任何能想到的疾病都会变得更糟，而任何可能的灾难都会被遭遇。

这种信念会打消好奇、喜悦或奇妙的感受。它们抑制玩耍的活动或自发的行为。它们会导致身体处于一种防御性攻击的状态。在这种情况下，似乎只有在苹果中寻找虫子才是理性的，也就是说，在每一次新的体验或遭遇中，都预期痛苦或危险。

在成长与成就的发展中，玩耍是一个非常重要的属性——实际上是不可或缺的。儿童自然地玩耍，动物也是如此。就此而言，昆虫、鸟类、鱼类和各种生物都在玩耍。甚至蚂蚁和蜜蜂也在玩耍。它们的社交活动不仅仅是在蜂巢或蚁穴中不停地工作而已。事实上，这种游戏性的活动是它们有组织行为的基础，而它们在承担自己的职责之前就“扮演”成年昆虫的行为。

各种生物都玩耍，因为这种活动是快乐的、自发和有益的，因为它激活了有机体的所有部分——再说一次，在玩耍中，幼小的生物模仿成年生物的运作模式，最终促成它们自己成熟的活动。

当人们开始生病、焦虑或恐惧时，陷入困境的第一个征兆就是愉悦感的缺乏、游戏行为的逐渐停止，以及对个人问题的过分关注。换句话说，疾病的第一个信号往往是热情与活力的缺失。

这种愉悦感的减退使人开始减少正常的活动、新的接触或探索，而这些活动本身可能提供新的选择，从而有助于缓解问题。这样一个人会变得神情沮丧——不苟言笑、闷闷不乐，让别人不由得对这样一副沮丧的表情加以评论。评论都是诸如此类：“你看起来很累。”或：“出什么事了，你不舒服吗？”等等。这样的评论往往只会加强此人先前的沮丧感，到最后，这种意见交换导致了一个局面——这个人和同伴开始以一种负面而非正面的方式互动。

我并无意暗示，像“你病了吗？”或“你累了吗？”这样的询问总是有害的。但这种问题的确预示了自己的答案。当一个人感觉身体很好、生气勃勃而精力充沛时，这种问题会被若无其事地推到一边——它们不会有任何影响。但不断问这种性质的问题，并不会给一个有困难的人带来帮助——事实上，过于频繁地表达同情也能使一个人的心态变差，因为这种行为强调了一个概念，即他一定是病得很重才吸引了这种同情感。那么，在这种情况下，不做任何评论要好得多。

我在说的，不是真心关怀的问候，而是相当自动而不假思索的负面评论。就是如此。

另一方面，评论他人高涨的热情、充沛的精力或饱满的精神，却是个极好的做法。以这样一种方式，你奖励了积极的行为，这可能真的会启动一连串的积极活动，而不是继续一连串的消极反应。

我并非让你们一直滔滔不绝地说出正面暗示，不管它们与当前情况有没有关系。

我说的是，对任何情况，去看你最期望的解决之道，并说出那态度，比预料最坏的结果或表达最悲惨的态度要好得多。

Worry, fear, and doubt are detrimental to good health, of course, and these are very often caused by the officially held beliefs of society. Those beliefs paint a dire picture, in which any given situation is bound to deteriorate. Any conceivable illness will worsen, and any possible catastrophe be encountered. 

Such beliefs discourage feelings of curiosity, joy, or wonder. They inhibit playful activity or spontaneous behavior. They cause a physical situation in which the body is placed in a state of defensive aggression. Under such conditions it seems only rational to look for the worm in the apple, so to speak, and to expect pain or danger in each new experience or encounter. 

Play is a very important — indeed, vital — attribute in the development of growth and fulfillment. Children play naturally, and so do animals. For that matter, insects, birds, fish, and all kinds of life play. Even ants and honeybees play. Their sociability is not just a matter of constant work within a hive or an ant mound. This playful activity is, in fact, the basis for their organized behavior, and they "play" at adult behavior before they assume their own duties. 

Creatures play because the activity is joyful, and spontaneous and beneficial, because it activates all portions of the organism — and again, in play youngsters imitate adult patterns of operation that lead finally to their own mature activity. 

When people become ill, worried or fearful, one of the first symptoms of trouble is a lack of pleasure, a gradual discontinuance of playful action, and an over-concentration upon personal problems. In other words, illness is often first marked by a lack of zest or exuberance. 

This retreat from pleasure begins to cut down upon normal activity, new encounters, or explorations that might in themselves help relieve the problem by opening up new options. Such a person becomes dejected looking — unsmiling and somber, leading others to comment upon such a dejected countenance. Comments such as these: 'You look tired," or: "What's the matter, don't you feel well?" and other such remarks often simply reinforce the individual's earlier sense of dejection, until finally this same kind of give-and-take leads to a situation in which the individual and his fellows begin to intermix in a negative rather than a positive manner. 

I do not mean to imply that it is always detrimental to make such queries as "Are you ill?" or "Are you tired?" Such questions do indeed predict their own answers. When a person is feeling in good health, exuberant and alive, such queries will be nonchalantly shoved aside — they will have no effect whatsoever. But constant questions of such a nature do not help an individual who is having difficulties — and in fact too frequent expressions of compassion can also worsen a person's state of mind, stressing the idea that he or she must be very ill indeed to attract such feelings of compassion. It is far better, then, to make no comment at all under such conditions.

I am not speaking of genuine questions of concern so much as rather automatic, unthinking, negative comments. Period. 

On the other hand, it is an excellent practice to comment upon another individual's obvious zest or energy or good spirits. In such a way, you reward positive behavior, and may indeed begin a chain of positive activity instead of continuing a chain of negative reactions. 

I am not telling you to gush out a steady stream of positive suggestions, whether or not they bear any relation to the situation at hand.

I am saying that it is far better to look on the most hoped-for solution to any situation, and to voice that attitude rather than to expect the poorest outcome, or express the most dire of attitudes. 

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