Rakendra：The answer is quite simple actually andeveryone knows the answer, yet no one dares to look into the matter. Peopledon’t dare to express their real thoughts because of fear。The fear to say ‘no’and thus the possibility of being judged,condemned,denied,excluded,rejected, etc... by others.
Drop the fear, say ‘no’ and strengthwill be back instantly.
诺肯佐拉：这个答案非常的简单，其实所有的朋友都已经知道答案，但是没有人敢去看看到底发生了什么事。因为恐惧，人们不敢去表达他们的真实情感。恐惧让他们不敢去说“不”，因为人们担心说了“不”后，会受到对方的批判，指责，否定，排斥，拒绝等等。丢掉恐惧，勇敢的说“不”，力量就会回来了。 心路：恐惧在那里来的呢，我很想扔掉恐惧，但它仍然在。怎么才能扔掉恐惧呢？Rakendra：Asking ‘where the fear does come from’is a way to elude tackling the fear, a way to push the fear away, wanting toget rid of it and stay in the mind.诺肯佐拉：问“恐惧从哪里来”，这是一个逃避恐惧的方式，一个想推开恐惧的方式，我们想要摆脱恐惧，待在头脑中。 It does not really matter where the fearcomes from, what is important is to realize that: ‘my god, in this situation Ihave a fear’. Ok, so let’s look at this. And in taking on this attitude thefear is recognized, accepted, not pushed away. This is the first step.恐惧来自哪里并不是真正的问题，重要的是要认识到：'我的上帝，在这个情形里，我感到恐惧。好，那让我们好好看看这个。有了这样的态度，恐惧则没有被我们推开，而是被认可和接纳。这是第一步。 Then it is about sensing this fear inthe body, putting one’s attention on how this fear manifests in the body. Doingthis will automatically bring to the surface the thought & the feeling thatis behind the fear and this thought &feeling can be different for eachperson, even though it they are often in the range of not wanting to berejected.然后，感觉恐惧在身体上是怎么样的，把注意力集中在身体上，看恐惧在身体上呈现的反应是如何的。当我们这样做时，自然的就会把恐惧背后的想法和感受带到表层。这些想法和感受可能对于每个人都不尽相同，即便它们都通常在“不想被拒绝”的范畴内。 Then it is about connecting with thisfeeling, again not pushing it away because it does not feel comfortable, andexpressing it within a safe environment.After following these steps, the ‘no’will come easily and with it the strength.然后是连接这种恐惧的感觉。再次，不要因为它让我们感觉不舒服而把它推开，然后在一个安全的环境中表达它。在真正进行这些步骤之后，说“不”会来的很容易，而随之而来的，就是内在的力量。 The same goes with the question: ‘how todrop the fear’ you cannot drop the fear. Yes you can override the fear bypretending to have courage, by pulling yourself together as the expressiongoes; but in reality the fear will still be there, simply pushed away in someunknown corners of your psyche.对于问题：“如何扔掉恐惧？”也是一样。你是扔不掉恐惧的。是的，你可以假装得很勇敢，抑或是控制你的情感，去掩盖住恐惧；但实际情况是，恐惧仍然在那里，你只是把它推到了你内在的一些不为人知的角落里。 So what to do: face the fear and it willdrop by itself.
